(Sharing a few more pics that Tiny Marvels took of June and I @ 30 weeks)
Hey! I can start this by saying that we officially have a way to transport the baby from the hospital to our house - car seat is locked and loaded folks! It's been raining here for about ... five days? (crazy and devastating flooding in so many parts of Ottawa has been making me wish I could have been in a position to help out a bit with the efforts over the past couple days!) and we actually were able to use the time to get stuff done in and around our house. Also I napped a lot so when I say we, I technically mean mike ;) along with the car seat I had him install shelves and hang curtains and lots of fun things that dads I'm sure are like "why," but pregnant moms be like *because this is a life or death scenario and if you don't install the shelves i might decide to give the baby my maiden name* - I mean, not that dramatic, but kinda because don't get between a pregnant mama and her plans for a gallery wall, you know?!
As we get closer and closer to meeting this new little member of our family, I'm getting more and more excited. Though I'd be lying if I didn't say the anxieties have started to creep in. I started worrying about the pain of labour again, I don't remember exactly how it felt but I do feel less prepared in terms of "reading" and "birth methods" then I was with June (because is it just me or do we just think about this stuff less with the second kid? I'm beginning to see a pattern of "winging" it). I also worry about the delivery not going the "way" I envision it. I need to let go of that, but it's hard; especially since June's birth got complicated quickly and I would love to have things go a bit more smoothly this time around. And then there's the worry about all the tiny things that can go wrong. babies and childbirth are such miracles. it's a cliche thing to say but when you stop and think about it, or when you hold that new life in your arms, it just reminds you that God is out there and doing things that only god can do. But at the same time you realize how fragile everything is. and it's this scary feeling. I'm trying to just hand these feelings over and trust that everything will be ok.
after I'm done worrying about that I turn to the fact that when we get home from the hospital, there will be TWO of them and I will officially be outnumbered for most of the day. I feel guilty or almost already inadequate saying this because obviously women have been doing it since the beginning of time, and I *know* that other moms do it with many more kids and everyone comes out unharmed.... but I'm worried all the same about how to logistically keep everyone fed, healthy, and happy (and if not happy, how to drown out the tantrums so the neighbours aren't kept up ;) and to not lose sight of myself in the process. I've been asking around to more experienced friends and family who have already been down this road and i have hit on a few common pieces of advice. I"m sharing it here so I can come back and read this when I'm having a moment. If I'm missing anything, please (please, please!) let me know in the comment section. This is my online village and I'm counting on all the advice I can get this time around xoxo
Advice for life with two
- Make sure you shower and get dressed everyday: i'm putting this as number one because I have a problem executing a daily shower as it is....
- Have low expectations for the first six months: I love this one - it came from my best friend and I think she offered it because she knows me so well. I tend to try to overdue it and that's when I get into trouble. I'm going to try really hard to remember this and to just take it day by day.
- Plan on being late: give yourself a fake early deadline. In all honesty mike and I have been trying to do this for years but haven't quite mastered it yet. I really really do value punctuality. But we have a horrible track record.
- forget about being on time: Just understand that you'll be late and that's ok at this point in your life.
- Plan meals for the week ahead when possible: I'm super lucky in that Mike takes on a huge role as head cook in our house. But we tend to leave our groceries to a few shops here and there throughout the week. I think for the first little while it will help heaps if we only have to do one shop a week with the meals for the week in mind. can anyone recommend any good share-apps that help plan this sort of thing? We're big iphone people and I could see the value of some sort of shared list we can both add to.
- take sometime for self-care: like most of this advice, I feel like this applies to everyone trying to juggle life and mom-ing. I seriously don't think we set aside enough time for ourselves... whether it's a solitary hour out alone to a coffee shop, or forgetting about the tidying up after dinner in light of taking a bath after kids are in bed. I don't think this will be something I'll be able to focus on in the first 8 weeks with baby but after that I hope to keep it in mind for sure. I think it's important for everyone but I'm always bad at taking my own advice!
and these two are pretty self-explanatory:
7. Ask for help when you need it
8. Don't be afriad to accept help when it's offered.