Happy Friday everyone! We're feeling a bit sleepy over here. And you know how I'm hesitant to label any of these "phases" were going through, since every baby must be so different, but whether it's made up or not, suddenly my happy little sleeper doesn't really like to sleep anymore. UG. Why do there have to be experts and WHY do they have to be right - especially about this?! I was really hoping we'd just glide through that whole "my baby doesn't sleep thing." *sobs into her cup of coffee, after removing foot from her mouth*
I remember before we had June, sleep deprivation was something I was really nervous about, but now that we have her, I'm not sure why I ever needed that much sleep to begin with; I mean, I've obviously proven it to myself that I can go on relatively NO sleep at this point ;) And to my credit, Mike says that I take the whole "small amount of sleep thing" better then he does, so while I'm pretty cranky at points throughout the day (I yelled at Cliff because he wouldn't back up out of the doorway while I was holding a full laundry basket this morning) I guess so far, we're surviving.
So what does sleep regression look like? Well for us it was a baby that used to go to bed at 6:30, wake up around 1or 2 am, have a small feed and then sleep again until around 7 am. Dreamy right? Yes, there were many dreams because I managed to have adequate REM cycles.
Contrasted with current sleep schedule: Bedtime around 6:30 - wake around 7:30, wake around 10:30, wake around 1:30, wake around 3:00, wake around 3:30 - OK OK YOU CAN COME IN OUR BED.
Enter "co-sleeping" except ok, not CO sleeping, because really only 2/3 of us are actually sleeping. True "CO" sleeping implies SHARED sleep. Except nobody is sharing with me.
6:00: let's start the day!
Me: BUT I HAVEN"T STARTED THE NIGHT YET.
Evidently, little sleep makes me slightly sarcastic and a just a teensy bit cynical....
In all seriousness, I find it completely understandable. Logically, it must be so scary to wake up in a dark room behind bars, with no warm bodies next to you, and you're tired because you want to sleep, but you just. can't. fall. back. asleep. without. help and love. I secretly love that I am help and love. And logically, my rational heart breaks when I think about not being help and love anymore at some point. Probably way sooner then I would expect. Already, she's fussier when I try to "rock" her to sleep at bedtime; I find more and more often then not, she just wants to be put into bed and stretch out on her own and fuss before falling asleep. At the same time, I'm bracing myself for what could be a loooonnng couple months. I don't think I can bare letting her "cry it out" when she wakes up. When you are fighting the battle it feels so long, but when you come out on the other side, you're like, that wasn't so bad... That's how it usually goes, doesn't it? (Please tell me that's how it usually goes.)
Wish us luck that we find a middle ground!! And that I find a nap or two this weekend.
Which reminds me: Happy Thanksgiving!! I'm looking forward to warm dishes of food and family members with open arms this weekend! Giving thanks for this beautiful family of mine. So sleepy, but so incredibly happy. (<--- 100% not exaggerating). As usual, I have all the feelings at once, all the time.