If I'm going to be completely honest and transparent, I've spent the majority of the past year in actual awe of all the mothers that have come before me. I mean, I've always wanted so much to be a mother. And I "knew" it would be hard - but.... I didn't know how hard this past first year would be: Sleep deprivation, peeing with a baby on my back when she went through that crazy 4 month period of not wanting to be put down, sleep deprivation, questioning all my decisions, questioning whether or not I want other people's input.... sleep deprivation... the list goes on. All this to say, nobody ever said becoming a mom would be easy, but I don't think I was prepared for the actual magnitude of that statement. And so, in my moments of weakness, I kid you not, I was reminded so often that motherhood is this incredible, beautiful amazing thing; but it's doable! I know it is because my mom did it! She gave me the inspiration to make it through the hard days. She reassured me that it doesn't have to always be perfect, because with us it wasn't always perfect, but it was ours. And we're here and we lived to tell the story. And it's because of her that I know how to love which is the really important part right? I mean, what a gift she gave me. So who cares if we didn't eat organic food, or if we stayed up late sometimes, or watched TV,.... those worries as a mom all seem consequential looking back at my own childhood.
And then I also think of friends with young kids so close in age and they're doing it! Or Mike's mom who had four kids close in age and a demanding career and they did it! And I'm just SO inspired by all the love and sacrifice that's around me every day. All because we know how amazing and incredible it is to have the opportunity to raise these kids. To be to someone else what our mother was to us.
I think reflecting on being a mom is going to be one of my things (I mean... obviously) and last night I wrote a letter to June on my first mother's day. I think it's something I'm going to try to keep up as the years go by. Because this is such an amazing moment in time!
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my life - I hope you get some time (hahahahahaha - time?! As I write this June has been trying to grab at the keyboard about every three minutes. Mike's doing his best to keep her back but doesn't it always go that what Ma Ma Ma is doing is THE most interesting. I'm flattered ;) ) to think about this journey that we're on. And to my own mom, to my sisters and my cousins, to my oldest dearest friends and to my new mommy friends; I'm so lucky to have you all!