Technically this is my second mother's day, but you know, this time around I actually get to kiss your beautiful face. I'm sitting here on a quiet night in early May. It's raining outside and the windows are open and it's one of my favourite types of nights. I was thinking the other day how much I love Spring now that you're here (Summer used to be my favourite season but now I'm torn!). I love the fact that you were born in the Spring after a season of waiting and anticipation; At this time last year my skin was stretched to the limit and I was waiting for my first glimpse of you. And now I love Spring because it's making our world new again, there are beautiful things that catch your attention everywhere - a piece of bark, grass, gravel on the sidewalk.... today you put a piece of dirt in your mouth and when I told you to spit it out you wrinkled your nose up at me and smiled. You are like that often; so confident in yourself and your decisions and ready to experience everything the world has to offer.
I can't believe we've had you here on this earth for almost one whole year! Motherhood does something funny to time; it's a blur of furious activity and yet I can recount every single moment because as they've happened I've banked it and put it in a special file in my brain marked: memories I want to hold onto forever. It's corny but true and I also know that as the years go by, new memories are going to push them further into my memory and that makes me sad! I just spent the evening going through the embarrassing amount of photos we've taken of you since you were born because I'd like to make an album before your 1st birthday. I think the truth is I've been putting it off because looking at how quickly the year has gone by in photos is a bit bitter sweet and hard to swallow. I'm so happy you're growing and healthy and strong but this baby phase has really gone by so quickly. It would probably be weird if I put one of your baby onsies in a ziplock so I could save your smell... but then again that's the sort of thing I'd probably pay to relive one day when you're older so to hell with normal social conventions!
June I can't tell you how lucky I am to have you. You've made me a mother. Do you know what sort of a gift that is to someone? There have been many hard, trying, exhausting days this year my baby girl and I'd be lying if I didn't say it was true. Becoming a mother is hard and an adjustment! But really the truth is you'll learn there are times when the English language is horribly insufficient. Feelings are inside your heart my sweet Juney, and when your head tries to explain them to people, they get dulled down a bit. One day if you ever try to describe a sunset or a really beautiful painting you might know what I mean; but I hope you know one day if you read this, you are more than words to me. And there will never be anything quite like my love for you ever again in this world. It's our special thing and I'm so happy to be your mother. I love the moments of extreme peace I feel when I get to hold you and rock you to sleep. When I get to see your beautiful smile first thing in the morning, when I get to just stop all the busy stuff and lay on the floor and have you climb all over me. I love being your mom. You are my blessing. And I'm so grateful I've been given the privilege of being your mother.