"I was reading a thread on marriage and relationships the other day."
That's what Mike said to me as we were driving to work earlier this week. It took me a bit aback. Last week I sent him an article from god knows where. It was titled "Habits of Happy Couples." He didn't read it, but I found it pretty interesting. Hence I was a surprised he had been freelancing on his own into relationship forums.
"Yea so there was this one guy on the thread proclaiming that when he gets home from work, his wife wants to know the little details of his day, but he said he usually it's just a day like any other with nothing to share."
Sometimes the internet just states the obvious. (In fact usually I'm always surprised at how things that go viral are popular because they're so true and so commonplace.) Statements, photos, videos that anyone can relate to. Most of the comments underneath include something to the effect of "Oh my god me too!" or "This is my life." (Comments which always make the world a better place).
Mike and I have super different communication styles. We're both uber communicators - so usually if there's a breakdown it has to do with the fact that we're both just talking at each other and not really listening. But even though we both talk each other's ear off, it's entirely different content.
I'm all about the details. Mike's all about the facts, figures or pontification.
And it drives me c.r.a.z.y when I have to pull out of him what he ate for lunch. Or who he talked to at work. Or if I find out he stopped for gas and didn't mention it... Sometimes I think living with me might be a bit exhausting.
But I can't deny it. I love the little details. Things that are mundane.
I also like little texts that check-in throughout the day. And I like good hellos that include a hug when I get in the front door. And good-byes that include a hug and a kiss and an I love you. High maintenance? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely.
It might seem like that could turn into a relationship on auto pilot. But I see it as little pieces which make up the happy. The point is, these aren't things that come instinctively to two people in a relationship. We've definitely had a growing pain process to learn the "maintenance requirements."
Thank-goodness we've spent a few years living together because we've (started to) learned what makes the other tick (I'm not gonna pretend that this isn't a life long journey), even if we don't fully understand the actual need for it.
So now he admits that I like "Grand Hellos." And discussions which involve the details of the day.
So I was super happy to learn that the internet had reinforced my need for the details. At least I'm not the only one.