Reinvigorated

IMG_2776 It's hot out.

I've got no problem with the temperature, but usually the heat has a tendency to make me wilt - to turn me into a wet noodle. Which I'm fine with... that's what summer's for; draping yourself over a patio chair with no actual problems to tackle, except  maybe mustering up the motivation to refill the ice cube tray.

Oddly enough though, the heat this summer is having the opposite affect on me; I'm reinvigorated.

There was this one point in the winter when I felt like I had lost my creative will - I used to be able to just sit down and write. Before last year, I came up with stories in my mind, I had a colourful way of saying things, and I was vibrant. I look back on blog posts I did over a year ago at this time and there's me in them.

With some space between myself and the past year at school, I feel like learning the craft of journalism started to rob me of that. It's all about facts - and for the most part, surface level facts that have to fit into a template. Who, what, why, where, when how. I used to think journalism was about slices of life- in reality, at least when you are setting out, it seems to be about blending in, and saying things in the most boring way possible... because that's what get's the facts across.

I also felt like having other people constantly criticize and evaluate your work, for it's ability to fit inside the square boxed template, squashed my desire to use my own voice - because your own voice makes you vulnerable, and besides, when people are wanting the facts, they don't have any interest in hearing you come through.

There's nothing like a good dose of ego to bring on writer's block. And let me tell you, I've been a writing things down, in flowery over the top language since I was a little girl. I'm not sure what made me think me, the round peg, would ever be able to fit inside the square hole (see... perfect use of metaphor there people and it almost verged on cheesy. I MUST be back).

But I digress. The only really important thing that I'm saying right now is that I feel like moving and shaking again. And, I feel like writing. About what, and who for? I care not. And that's the satisfying part.

Small victories when it's 40 degrees in the humidity. It turns out you can get a lot accomplished from your patio chair.

Have you ever had the wind knocked out of your sails? Experienced a loss of faith in yourself? I'd love to know I'm not alone!

ps. the picture? A bit of random, for randomness' sake (taken after Bluesfest this past weekend).