My Laptop Gives me Carpel Tunnel and Other Funny Things I do for the Internet

I have claw hand again. Fingers "thumb" through "ring" just don't wanna straighten out.

It's silly really. "Just use your other hand Emily... Hook the mouse up to the laptop, Emily." "But I can't PIN nearly as fast with my left hand, nor can I get comfortable on a couch with a mouse holding me back. I NEED to use the finger pad."

In case you needed clarification, that there's an intro to my inner dialogue... with myself. It's kinda sad really. Not only because my inner dialogue uses "nor" but also because it seems to go directly against my better instincts. I clearly have a very non-persuasive conscience.

All of my inner dialogue elevates while I'm on the computer but this one thought is particularly prominent. I think it's because it actually has physical pain corresponding with it which helps it resonate beyond an incoherent stream of consciousness.

"Un-hun" (That's me answering Mike's question with a non-descript "yes" answer.) "Can you please not bring the lap-top into the bedroom?" (That's Mike reminding me that personal relationships are more important than keeping up with "friends"Β  or "followers")

"Yea, yea just a few more minutes... I'm almost done this." By "this" I mean looking through some irrelevant, barely acquaintance type person's album on Facebook, just because it popped up on the news feed.

And while we're on the topic of the social network that changed the world (and my down time), my favourite "in defense of the internet" is when I actually go to lengths to cover up for Facebook.

Like for instance you run into someone you haven't seen in awhile but you actually know all the nitty- gritty details of their personal lives? The new house, kid's soccer team, dog made a mess in the kitchen last week? You know, the "regular stuff" you fill your head with about hundreds of people you don't actually "know," and when you meet by chance in the store, you actually go out of your way to pretend to know nothing about them?

Why do we cover up for the internet?

I'm mean would there really be such a big problem with saying "Oh hi. Ya, haven't seen you in awhile but small talk between us is irrelevant at this point, so we can bypass it and get right to the philosophical stuff if you please. No? Oh you think I'm a weirdo? That's strange because this seems like the only logical re-introduction to the acquaintanceship... and well, I hate to draw attention to it but you're the one who posted the picture of the new toilet you installed last week so it's REALLY hard for me right now because all I can do is picture you on the can."