One From Pen and Paper

turning30 For almost a week my computer wouldn't start. I'd plug it in, hold the battery pack tightly in the magnetic connection, hoping for the green light of life to come on; nothin'. I'm just to the point where I think I'm going to have to bring it to the Apple store when Mike decides he'll give it a try. He plugs it in: It starts up immediately.

"Healing hands" he calls it.

Whatever. I'm just happy I've got my own surface again. I've been biding my time, trying to process everything that's happened in the past month:

- Mike finished culinary school

- We got married

- Went on a honeymoon

- I just turned 30

There's just been so much to sift through. I'd love to share some pictures and thoughts of it all, but I can't mentally commit to going through them - at least not tonight. I'm just getting the feel of this key board again.

When my computer first kicked it last Tuesday evening - it was my last night in my 20's and I was really in the mood to do some writing, so I picked up a pen and paper and ended up with this:

"As I'm writing this I can hear Cliff drinking out of the toilet. I'm at terms with it and I'm just gonna go ahead and let it happen.

I'm not sad to be turning 30 - I'm actually really excited for "what's next." If I'm sad about anything it's about how fast time goes by (completely different then lamenting the fact that you're getting older by the way). In my mind I just moved to Ottawa, just started grad school, just met Mike... but that was over 5 years ago already.

Last night I had crazy dreams. I dreamt I was swimming in this bay - I think it was supposed to be the ocean. All of a sudden I was completely surrounded by whales and sea turtles. The water was so packed I could see right in their eyes as they moved by me. When I got back to shore and tried to tell the story to people, they all thought I was crazy. It was one of those frustrating dreams where you can't get people to understand what you're feeling.  When I woke up I was left with that weird feeling like I'd been the part of the joke that everyone laughs at; a flashback high school feeling of vulnerability when you can't get people to understand where you're coming from.

So here I am, almost 30 and writing about my dreams.... which is basically how I've spent a good part of my 20's."

Welcome 30. Welcome back computer. And welcome back blog world; I'm excited to start writing again.